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Sunday, February 28th, 2010

Time:11:49 am.
Christ but I'm tired. Can't remember the last time I had a good sleep, unless you count passing out drunk. I realised today that since my mum's stroke I haven't really switched off, I've been running around like a lunatic with my brain working on overdrive, all the while somewhat numb to reality.

I am so very, very tired of holding it together.
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Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

Subject:Nothing At All To Me
Time:4:40 am.

Christ, this place is a fucking mess...

An eye for the beholder
You hide behind
Damp, wet and awful
Tell me, do you like your home?

You keep your beauty
blonde curls and combats
It calls to deaf and cynical ears

I remember
(teeth and nails and skin and sweat)
I remember
A meeting
when you
Gave without restraint or care
And were you

a Zombie Girl
dead flesh
And dead feelings
But alive, radiant and alive


I need to sort this out. I used to live here.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006

Subject:Stolen from Dell
Time:8:23 am.
Mood:Bloody Sleep Deprived.
So far who did you talk to the most today?

What is the best name for a butler?

What was your last weird encounter?
Hmm. I have lots of them lately. Bumping into an old music teacher in TJs? That was weird.

Whats the weirdest story of one of your scars?
Oh gods. Um, how about the scar on my arm from when I wanted blood for an art project and got carried away? Or the one on my knee from chasing a nurse across a deserted beach on some island off Turkey. Or the one from when I was four, and the school bully beat me with my best friend, and said best friend got his tooth lost somewhere in my cranium. I'm a veritable mass of amusing scar tissue, me.

Do you remember the part from Bambi when Bambi learns to say bear?
Er, vaguely. The only part thats really familiar is when Bambi's mum gets shot. Give me Fantasia any day.

What color is your toothbrush?
Blue. Its got a tongue scrubbing bit. It does.

What is your middle name spelled backwards?
Hterag. Spell it H'Terag and it could be some weird SciFi name!

Can you eat well with chopsticks?
Unfortunately not.

What odd things creep you out?
Not much really. I hate spiders, but they don't creep me out as such.

Have you ever felt an earthquake?
There was that whole Brynglas Tremor thing, but I think I slept through it.

What do you do with the hot grease when youre done cooking bacon?
Cook the egg in it, of course.

What's the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?
Shark? Swordfish? Actually I'll go with Kangeroo. One Giant Rat-Thing, comming up!

What color are your socks today?
Black. I'm not sure I own socks that arent.

What is your favorite word that starts with the letter G?
Gareth, of course!

Who do you blame for your mood today?
I can't blame my mood today on a person, I haven't really been social enough.

If Ricky Martin had a trademark what would it be?
I thought he did? People used to babble about his hips.

What is something scientists need to invent?
Many things. I'd like a robot battle suit that flies right now. That'd be cool.

What is the closest object to your left foot?
My camera tripod.

Who is your favorite Golden Girl?
Bea Arthur! BEA ARTHUR!!! (A shiney penny to anyone other than Fat Sam or Irish who gets the reference...)

Do you have an inside joke that has to do with numbers?
Kinda. Its not very funny though. Heres one everyone can get;
Doctor: How many fingers am I holding up?
Woman: Oh no, I must be paralysed too!

What is the longest amount of hours you have slept in a row?
Lately, it feels about five minutes, never mind hours.

How do ugly people make you feel?
They make me feel like serving their more attractive friend first! Good gods but thats shallow...

Where was your mothers hometown?

Where was your fathers hometown?
Newport. Never stood a chance, did I?

What are the posters on your walls?
Clockwise, from above; Naked Brody Dalle, Jessica Alba in Sin City, Vallo from HIM, some random FHM bird by the name of 'Milena,' The Juggernaught, Some bird with three breasts, a midget in a gimp mask being straddled by a whip bearing dominatrix, and an ancient Interview With the Vampire one. I've also got a Walk The Line one thats yet to find its place.

Say two words that rhyme:
Umm, 'ship' and 'chip'

Do you use online terms in real life?
Hell no.

What do you think people think of you?
One truly dreads to think.

Do you think this year will be better than the last?
Here's hoping!Last year was a mixture of great and extreem shiteness. This year... seems to be going the same way.

Who is the 1st person on your incoming call list and how do you feel about them?
Discounting my mother, who is virtually always on there, that'd be Carys again. How do I feel about her? By moving my hands ... oh, right! She's me partner in drunken misadventures! :P

Do you know who Salad Fingers Is?
TEr, nope. Should I? Hmm, google... Okip, now I do. And I'll never fucking sleep again :|

What is the stupidest thing you have ever done?
You can't seriously want me to pick out of my life? The latest was breaking my arm. That'll do you.

What is your favorite commercial of the moment?
Hmm. My minds gone blank. The Sky One live action Simpsons is cool. Or the One with all the bouncy balls and the song 'Heartbeats' playing.

What does it take to make you cry?
Yeah, because I'm really going to post that on here. Its not easy, I'll give you that.

What are you looking forward to?
Well, I'm off to Ireland on Friday. Other than that, MY STUDENT LOAN!!!

Have you ever cried because you thought you were ugly?
Once, when I was a kid. Girls can be cruel when your twelve...

Who did you kiss today?
No one, actually.

What do you like to do when you are alone?
Read, mostly.

What is missing from your life?
Too much to mention here, thats for sure.

Would you be ashamed if you wore hippie clothes?
Nah. I've got a tie dyed tshirt somewhere.

Grab the closest book, what does the 7th sentence on the 23rd page say?
"My mom just liked to move for some reason" Johnny Depp - A Kind Of Illusion

When was the last time you slept with a stuffed animal?
I have a stuffed Sylvester the Cat, and a yellow dragon. I've had 'em both longer than I can remember.

If it was your last day on earth what shoes would you wear?
Hmm, comfort or style. Gimme the New Rocks, I can kick people and not really have to worry.

Do you own a Super Nintendo?

Can you name all 7 dwarfs?
Sneezy, Bashfull, Grumpy, Doc, Happy, Sleepy, Dopey. Who the hell came up with those?

Have you ever pretended to be Jewish?
Can't say I have.

What was the last thing you thought you lost, but ended up finding it?
Jesus. He was behind the sofa all along.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
I'm not sure. I think me and Carys were watching Red Dwarf. Or Bill Hicks. One or the other.

If you had a ball of clay what would you mold it into?
Some sort of weapon with which to annoy my nearest and dearest, no doubt.

What does your Milkshake bring to the yard?
Catholic school girls, if I'm lucky...

Do you have any famous relatives?
I vaguely recall my nan or dad telling me we might be related to Captain Morgan. Don't quote me though, it was a while back.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, March 8th, 2006

Time:8:17 pm.
Pictures from the Interlock and Interstate gigs!

Read more...Collapse )
Comments: Read 9 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

Subject:Am I evil?
Time:3:16 am.
Mood: drunk.
Apparently something is wrong with me. Because on the music chanels right now some woman is giving the sign language to all the music videos, complete with air guitar. And I'm laughing so hard it almost hurts. So much for being liberally minded. Back to Meatloaf, and the amusing lady...
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, August 31st, 2005

Subject:Analyse me, baby
Time:12:16 am.
Mood: cheerful.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 63%
Stability |||||||||||||||| 70%
Orderliness |||| 13%
Accommodation |||||||||||| 43%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56%
Mystical |||||||||||||||| 63%
Artistic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||| 70%
Materialism |||||||||||| 50%
Narcissism |||||||||| 36%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Work ethic |||| 16%
Self absorbed |||||||||||||| 56%
Conflict seeking |||||||||| 36%
Need to dominate |||||||||||| 50%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Wealth |||||| 30%
Dependency |||||||||||||| 56%
Change averse |||||||||||||| 56%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Physical security |||||||||||||| 56%
Physical Fitness |||||||||| 37%
Histrionic |||||| 30%
Paranoia |||||||||||| 50%
Vanity |||||||||||| 43%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63%
Female cliche |||||||||||||| 56%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Why do half of my results contradict the other half? Perhaps more importantly, why do they seem to make some twisted kind of sense? And why the hell did I score 56% in 'Female Clique'? So I wear makeup. And watch chick flicks. And spend hours on the telephone. And... oh, hang on. Fair enough then.
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Monday, August 8th, 2005

Time:6:22 pm.
Mood: crazy.
Damn. This heat is a pain. Its making me too damn tired. But, no grumbling. I'm in a pretty good mood right now. My aunty managed to blow up the PC today, explosion and all (don't ask), leaving me in something of a panic. After all, she's off on holiday for three weeks, so she wouldn't have time to have it fixed. But a brain wave followed, and I now have my Uni PC set up. Which is faster, prettier, and no one shouts at me for doing illegal things withit. Except possibly The Man, but what The Man doesn't know, doesnt get me jail time.

So what has been going down in the life of Gareth? Well, Tuesday was Fat Sam's party. Good night, but seeing as I was dead and Velvet is pissed at me, I retreated somewhat early. The next day was Vampire, and the compulsory Post-Vampire piss-up in the Meze Lounge. Its wierd drinking in the Meze wearing frilly sleeved shirts and makeup, when everyone else seems to be competing in an emo contest. But hey, drink enough Absinthe and Red Bull, and everything is cool.

Friday night was a return to TJs, which unsurprisingly was little different to every other night I have in TJs. Caught up with some old school buddies, which was nice, kissed a few attractive women, which was nicer, and reflected that there was probably something more constructive I should be spending my money on.

Ah well. A free house for the next free weeks. Peace and quiet...
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Saturday, July 30th, 2005

Time:5:19 pm.
Mood: amused.
Wow, this journal hasn't been erased due to lack of use. And seeing as I've got convienient net access now, I've no excuse really. Tsk.

So, whats been going on in the life of Gareth? Well, given the last time I updated, both bugger all and rather a lot. So what can I remember? Went to see Motley Crue a while back, for some classic cock rock action. I can honestly say I've never seen so many midgets at one gig. Honestly, it was bizzare. Awesome fun all round.

Then I went to see Rammstein. Who were, to be quite frank, rather fucking awesome. Fire! Fire!! Ahem. And in contrast to the midgets of Crue, I've never seen so many nine foot german couples. Which can be a pain when your stood behind them. Only problem with the gig, is now I want a flame thrower. Which would be a bad idea...

So tonight I'm off to Inquisition, and about bloody time too. I've been promising to go for ages now, about time I got off my arse and went. And seeing as my new shirts from the Dark Angel finally arrived today, I've got a lovely selection from which to choose what to wear.

Now where did I put that crevat pin...
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005

Subject:Just a quicky...
Time:7:06 pm.
Mood: tired.
... to let you all know I am in fact, still alive. Though only just. Going to be hitting some madcap punk gig later. And Bungle is comming up tommorow for an all dayer. And Friday is undoubtably going to involve heavy drinking, either here or in TJs, depending on what everyone at uni wants to do. But I have Thursday off! Respite for my liver!

Oh well. Cardiff today, picked up With Teeth and the Scarling single We Are The Music Makers on Vinyl. Unfortunately I had to get the Hand That Feeds vinyl from Amazon, and its costing me a fortune. But hey, seeing as they were good enough to send me a pretty box to put them in, the least can do is waste my hard earned student loan on these things.

Bloody Trent Reznor. Why does he have to be so damn good?
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Sunday, April 10th, 2005

Subject:Well, so long again...
Time:7:02 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
... its been fun. But tommorow I take that long old journey home to Glamorgan, and start ignoring this again. Damnable lack of internet in the halls, someone must be punished. Perhaps the Dean. Americana has taught me that the University experience is not complete without mentally torturing this inexcusable authority figure. Look out buddy, and dont think changing your title to 'senior resident tutor' or some such foolishness means I dont know what you really are!


Sorry, somewhat sidetracked for a moment. Let me just readjust my sanity... right. There. But yes, unfortunately the lack of internet means the lines of comunication are about to be severely broken. Especially seeing as my phone will be out of commision from tommorow untill Wednesday. Typical.

And once again I'm bored. Bored with life. Bored, mostly, with myself. This is dangerous, as I'm quite likely to do something impetuous and wind up looking ridiculous. Though this is nothing new.


I feel an image change comming on...

Right. Once again going off the plot. My apologies. But I shall now be departing, and shall likely not see you all for a while. Unless your at TJs later, in which case I might.

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Friday, April 8th, 2005

Time:6:55 pm.
Mood: mischievous.
Kinky bastard!
Grats! You're 89% kinky!
Well well well, you kinky bastard! Most likely you're into some weird shit, which is always great. Consider mailing the author of this test, and keep up the good work ;)

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 96% on kinkpoints
Link: The Kinkyness Test written by nilnisicruce on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Oh come on, surely I'm not that abnormal? If I'm 89% kinky, then a lot of my friends should probably be in jail...

See you all in TJs later folks.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, April 7th, 2005

Subject:Clarity of Thought
Time:2:54 am.
Mood: thoughtful.
I'm in a good mood. I have a large house to myself for the night, large quantities of alcohol, and more music than I could ever listen to. That said, I could murder a marlboro light. Or a passerby, if they looked like they had one...

Generaly, I dont like drinking on my own. Its never good for anyone, much less me. But, very occasionally, I find myself in the right frame of mind. And then its a great thing, because you find yourself going through your own head in a way you never think of when your sober. Normally its somewhat depressing, but tonight the mood is right.

I havent come to any life changing realisations, but who ever does? I have come to some minor ones. For starters, I'm my own worst enemy (a somewhat obvious conclusion to reach when one sits alone ay three am drinking alcohol, I know). I almost always get my own way in life, only to turn around and decide I want it another way. Will I ever be satisfied? Who knows. But I'm hopefull.

I've also realised how much I miss people. Which is suprising, because when I moved to university I couldnt wait to burn my bridges, forget I ever lived in this hellhole. And while I still hate Newport, still hate the numerous petty philistines and fools, and most of all the excessive amount of chavs (how many can one city support? I mean, come on...), I've realised that there are people I've left behind that actually care about me. And that I care about. I cant claim to be surrounded by people like that in Treforest.

Dont get me wrong, I love the new life. But I realise now I've been a fool to forget my friends here. I'm going to have to keep in touch with everyone a little better.

And finally, inevitably, theres my [lack of a] love life. I've tried so hard, for so long, to convince myself that I'm better off alone. And fair play, I succeded admirably. Hell, in the past I've even sabotaged my own relationships in order to get back to good old comfortable bachelorhood. In hindsight, I may have been something of a prat.

Still, confession is the first step on the road to absolution. If only I was trying to find God, and not a woman. According to the literature (and Monty Python), he'll have anyone. Time to open my eyes; they say the right one is out there for everyone. Here's hoping I didnt sleep with mine and not call her...

Neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.
- Voltaire
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Sunday, April 3rd, 2005

Time:3:31 pm.
Mood: good.
Well, Friday was quite the night. Talk about faces from the past...

Wild. I've only just recovered. Needless to say, I've missed the enjoyment that a dirty club, Marlboro Lights, absinthe and fit women can bring. A much needed night out.

Oh aye, and I bought Secretary on DVD. Great film :D
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, March 31st, 2005

Time:9:28 pm.
Mood: blah.
Lifes getting all surreal again. Despite having 'sworn off' women (my drug of choice, and seven times as damaging as heroin...), women seem to complicate my life anyhow. Which makes me wonder if there really is any point in leaving them alone in the first place? I mean, whats the point of giving up smoking only to get lung cancer. Another way I'm going, lets face it...

Meh. Feels good to whine about girls on here again though! Its been so long...

Ah well. Has anyone worked out why getting exactly what you wanted always wierds you out somewhat? I thinks its proof God can't really exist. Surely if we were actually designed he'd have done a better job.
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Time:5:25 pm.
Mood: predatory.
Family life has certain advantages. Chief among these are;
Free taxi service,
All meals cooked for me,
Internet access, allowing me to moan at you lot.

But Jesus. I. Want. My. Peace. And Quiet. Back.

Roll on the return to Uni. Of course, I've got loads to do before then. Especially catching up with everyone. Got to meet up with Sophie yesterday, and realised how much I miss everyone. Must get off my arse and sort out arrangements with everyone.

Still, tommorow should be a start. Its been ages since I went to TJs....
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Thursday, March 24th, 2005

Time:3:53 pm.
Mood: lazy.
Ah, the arrival of the easter holidays. And I have nine pounds, seventy five pence to spend. That may put something of a dampner on all the plans I had for meeting up with everyone. Still, at least I got to see Queen Adreena again. Needless to say, they were amazing again, though I still prefered the first gig. But man, that voice... its unreal.

Was amazing to see everyone again, anyway. I was starting to forget I have a life back here as well as Glamorgan. So to see people I used to be so close to, Elmo, Joel, H, was surreal. And hanging out with Rae all night made being back in shitty Newport seem somehow less irritating.

So yes. Newport. Back now, and stuff. Feel free to get in touch, folks. I think I should go to sleep now. I've been awake for nearly thirty hours, for no reason at all, and I'm suppose to be going for a drink later....
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Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004

Subject:We're off to see the wiz... er, university!
Time:9:08 pm.
Mood: flirty.
Well folks, looks like I'd best update one last time, because its gonna be a sod to update as of next Saturday. Its not that I cant get to a computer, more that I'll never remember. So your looking at whats possibly the last post for a loooong time.

So aye, I'm moving away come Saturday. Anyone who wants to come up and visit me, likely involving large amounts of alcohol, is more than welcome. A few of you already are. Bungle will probably never leave...

So yeah, this is farewell for a while. I'm off to get educated, enlightened and hopelessly hopelessly drunk.

Though not in that order.
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Thursday, September 16th, 2004

Time:12:27 am.
Bored bored bored bored bored bored.

Not with life, with me. I'm about to start uni, and I want to be different. I want to look mad, and wierd, and all the other things I was too worried to look like in Newport.

Random update I know, but I'm tired.
Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004

Time:9:32 am.
Mood: cheerful.
Tommorow, I am going to see the Chilli Peppers. I've just booked tickets to go see HIM again. Now I just need to find out how much a train to Birmin'am costs, because then I can go and see KMFDM.

Life is pretty good, folks :)
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Thursday, May 27th, 2004

Time:4:34 pm.
I've been accepted to study Law at Glamorgan University! No more lack of prospects! No more wasting the brain my year 4 teachers swore I had, if only I'd stop talking so much! Woo hoo!

Even the children of Iraq showed me their support!
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

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